Don't Touch That Cross!

This is a story about some travelers that started out on a long journey.

At the start of their journey each traveler was given a physical wooden cross to carry or drag on their journey, and everyone was told that at the end of their journey they would need that cross as proof to pass into the great city.

So they set all set out on their journey dragging their crosses. These crosses were actual size, roughly 12 or 14 feet long, made of rough timbers and were quite heavy and cumbersome.

So a bit into their journey, the travelers started getting tired and weary, as the sun was beating down on them and the crosses were hard to bear. They had to rest often, and after resting awhile could start up again on their journey. A few days later into their journey a few of them were sitting and resting in the shade of a big rock one hot afternoon, grumbling a bit at their heavy burden, one traveler suggested why they couldn't cut off their cross a bit at the end to lighten their load. "A grand idea" a few others said, so when they saw the next town off to one side they turned and went to get a saw and then they happily each cut off a foot of the end of their cross. "Ahh" they said, "this is so much better now, plus what will it ever matter if a piece off the end is missing, no one will ever even notice it."

They soon caught up to their fellow travelers who were laboring under the midday sun and asked them if they wanted to borrow their saw to cut off their crosses too, thus lightening their load and making the journey easier.
Their fellow travelers declined and said "Don't you remember our instructions at the start of the journey, where we were told we would need our crosses at the end?"
"Ach, who will ever know, but if you want to burden and bondage yourself dragging that heavy thing, that's your problem. Look at your shoulders, can't you see how sore and chaffed they are by thickheadedness?" They scoffed, shook their heads and continued on.

A few days later they said to each other, "Hey, this cross is starting to feel heavy again, where's the saw?" So they each sawed off a foot more and continued on, feeling afreshed by their lightened load. This was repeated a few more times till they finally came towards the end of their journey and saw their destination.

Their mouths gaped with the beauty of the scene ahead. A beautiful city was lying ahead, gleaming and sparkling like a million precious jewels, seemingly from a source from within.
Lush green meadows with gay little creeks happily running through surrounded this awesome city. Huge shade trees with the sound of birds singing from within the graceful limbs was faintly heard.

They hurried on and suddenly came to a large crack or rift in the ground, endlessly deep and oh, about 12 or 14 feet across. Impossible to jump. They saw no way across, this path was the only passage into that whole different world.

They stared in disbelief and when reality hit they started crying and wailing "O this is cruel. We are so close and had such a long hard journey was it all for naught, how will we get across?"

Then they saw their fellow travellers coming in the distance labouring under their load, their crosses still the original length. Oh, about 12 or 14 feet long as they came to the great rift and saw the distressed travellers wailing there, they asked "what's wrong?"

"Oh," they cried "there is no way across this chasm into the promised land."

The weary travelers eyed the great rift, then looked at their unaltered crosses and then as one cried out "Hey, that looks about long enough to span that chasm! So one tried and sure enough it fit across, just barely..
He walked gingerly over the chasm on his cross and then shouted back with great happiness to the others, "It works! try for yourself," then took his cross and started running towards the city.
They all crossed the chasm while the rested travelers with the shortened, lightened crosses watched with amazement and growing horror. "Hey" they asked, "Can we cross over on your crosses, please? We cut ours off and now they won't span the chasm."
"Sorry," the others replied, "we can't do that, cause you see, we each have to show our cross to the keeper of the gate at the city, don't you remember your instructions at the start of the journey when we were told we'd need them at the end?"

John Deere Green.

Way out in the middle of this great big world.
Lives me and my wife, and my two little girls.
We farm for a living, and guess what we drive.
Its all John Deere; top of the line.

John Deere rules, at least around here.
And all the good farmers, you know they're driving Deere.
By far the best equipment that money can buy.
Superior engineering, the long green line.

(Chorus)
John Deere to us farmers is a way of life.
If we ever get married we want a John Deere wife.
A John Deere house that's John Deere nice.
I guess you could say we want a John Deere life.

And on our days off, when we all go to town.
My John Deere wife and her eyes of brown.
With her John Deere looks and her John Deere smile.
She sure looks good, John Deere style.

We farmers of the land are a real strange breed.
We'd empty out our wallets just to drive green.
We really love our Deeres and that's how we stand.
And I'm telling you now, I'm a John Deere man.

When spring comes around and we hit the field.
Our shoulders square up, cause you see, we're driving green.
We're sitting extra tall, and were feeling extra proud.
And we wanna shout out, in John Deere loud.

When we're driving to the fields and see you in your cars.
Don't be a bit surprised when we wave from afar.
We know you're missing out, cause the view from up here.
Is out of this world, thanks to John Deere!

We're farmers raising food, this is what we love.
But this John Deere thing runs in the midst of our blood.
We're taking good care of these wonderful machines.
And we wanna paint the world, JOHN DEERE GREEN!

30 below.

It seems to me that winters draggin on.
I long for the melt, I long for the sun.
I long to see the creeks beginning to flow.
And I wanna get rid of this 30 below.

But I look outside and 30 below.
The wind is creeping up, and its starting to snow.
I look at my watch it says March the first.
The weatherman says it'll only get worse.
The forecast he gives really makes me cold.
As far as he can see, more 30 below.

Al Gore's been telling us we're all gonna die.
This planets heating up and we're the reason why.
Well I welcome you sir, to my part of the world.
And try telling us its not 30 below.

The hay stacks are full of starving deer.
While Mr. Al Gore is cracking a beer.
The drifts outside have four feet of snow.
And the mercury is still at 30 below.

My teeth are chattering hard along with my knees.
And all the treehuggers are safely sipping tea.
The cows that are in calf are starting to show.
And the temperature outside is 30 below.

I guess what I'm asking of you Mr Gore.
Along with all the treehuggers sitting at your door.
Is why in the world its so flipping cold.
On March the first; still 30 below.